I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
