Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
i think i have herpe
just one?
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Randomize
