ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Randomize
