I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
