I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Sext me about skeletons
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
