You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Randomize
