just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
