I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
what is it with giant penises always finding me
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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