On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
