I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
