On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
