Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Randomize
