Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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