Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
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