After last night, I could never be a politician.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
