My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Randomize
