thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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