I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
honey bunches of taint.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Randomize