it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I understand Curling. That high.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Randomize
