just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
The power of my boobs compel you
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
