i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I just cut my nipple shaving
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
