i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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