I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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