omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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