just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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