There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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