weddingsv make me drug and hornr
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
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