maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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