I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Randomize