In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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