is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
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