nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize