Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
