i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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