That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
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