It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
