Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Randomize