Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
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