Betty ford says i'm here all night
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Randomize
