so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
