Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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