One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
