You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Are we still banned from the library?
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
