He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I would fuck him just for his dog
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize