I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
