I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
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