At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
i will never coherently bang her
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
