she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
