can u get pink eye on your cock?
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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