I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
