I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
