She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
I know her cup size but not her name....
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