im drinking this country out of the recession.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
