I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
