New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
