I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Randomize
