Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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