I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
