things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Will exercising make me less horny?
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