Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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