omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
