He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
