i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
