Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Randomize
